I Finally Did It...

I created a Blog! My mom has been on me since May to start a Blog. She would say, "Aim, you love to write, and you say the funniest things. You really need a Blog!" I would reply, "Yeah, I might." All the while I was thinking, "Good LORD Sue, you know that I don't have time! I barely have time to check my email." And then...I started visiting other Blogs. AND THEN, my MOM created one. I knew that 1 of two things was sure to follow: a. the apocapolyse, or b. I had to do it. So here I am! Blogging! On my very own Blog! HOT DOG, I've got a Blog!

Now a few housekeeping matters that we must address. Firstly, I'm new to this. I need a brief tutorial. Do I capatilize Blog? Is it permissable to have a lower case "b" blog? I know enough from email that I will never BLOG in ALL CAPS, bc that means I am shouting. However, I have shouted a few times already (LORD, AND THEN, MOM, HOT DOG, etc). But unless I am terribly angry or experiencing a stroke or something, I will never post in all caps. I PROMISE. :)

Now, on the the name. In all honesty, I would have created this Blog/blog much sooner had I thought of a name. I have been running several doozies around in my noodle, but nothing stuck. "My 3 Sons" seemed like an obvious choice, but what if I decided to post about my job? Not exactly son-esque. I considered "Where the Wild Things Are" and truthfully, almost went with it. It's one of my thousand favorite books, and it is PERFECT for the ole' Martin household. But finally, it hit me. My Beautiful Disaster. Here's why...

I am a music FANATIC. Yes, I am screaming that. FANATIC. I LOVE MUSIC. Kelly Clarkson, aka American Idol #1 had a fabulous song on her first cd (or second...I can't remember) called "Beautiful Disaster." The first time I heard it...I just cried. *quick sidenote...for those of you who know me you know this isn't a rarity. the rest of you will soon find out that Amy cries a lot...sidenote over* I KNOW (screaming) that it is written about a boyfriend; not about her son. But I immediately thought of my sweet boy, Keith. Some observers may see him and think *DISASTER*. He is a wild thing, a loose cannon, a hand full, etc. (all real descriptions I've heard) He isn't easy. But he is BEAUTIFUL. I am really screaming now...HE IS BEAUTIFUL. Here are the lyrics...
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as dumb as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right
It just ain’t right
Oh when I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
His magical myth
As strong as with I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight
Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
I’m longing for love and the logical
But he’s only happy hysterical
I’m waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long
He’s soft to the touch
But afraid at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still leaves more than I can take
Oh cuz I don’t know
I don’t know what he’s after
But he’s so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
HE'S BEAUTIFUL
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DISASTER

Now, before anybody leaves me hate comments regarding the "he's dumb" lyric, let me say this. I didn't write the flippin' song. Kelly Clarkson did. I said that it reminded me of my sweet boy. And, it reminds me of my other 2 boys, Zack and Griffin. Come to think of it, it reminds me of Shawn as well. And of me. And of my job. And my home. And my family and friends. Aren't we all, in some ways, at some time, disasters? But if you take the time to think about it, you will probably see what I've seen - my disasters are almost always BEAUTIFUL. And the more I think about it - isn't this PRECISELY (screaming) what we are to God? Come on yall, we are DISASTERS. But if we are in Christ - we are beautiful. No, we are BEAUTIFUL. Christ Himself clothes us with His Righteousness and when Our Father sees us, he sees our beauty. Well, He sees His Son's Beauty. And when I look at my sons, my Keith, Zack, or even Griffin, I see beauty. In the future, when I am posting about something crazy that they did, or I am crying in frustration or anger or fury...remind me of this. Everything may seem disastrous, but my goodness, it is BEAUTIFUL.

More later peeps. I still have a lot to say.