I read these blogs almost daily.
I pretend each one is a window to that friend's house.
The curtains are pulled back.
The shades are up.
For a few moments I can see inside their homes.
I see a lot of cute, precious moments. (thankfully not the figurines, I hate those things)
A lot of sweet happenings.
Beautiful and funny. "Awe...isn't that cute?"
Happy, sweet, precious.
I love looking in every day.
Sometimes I can identify. Sometimes I can play along because I know all the parts. I know when to smile. I know when to laugh. I know what comes next. Sometimes it is all familiar.
Then sometimes...it isn't.
Sometimes those windows seem to belong to families in far away lands. The language is foreign. The moments are distant. The setting is unfamiliar.
Just once, I'd like to see something that I can relate to.
A home where the children are just as beautiful, but are scarred.
A glimpse of what being born to a mother addicted to drugs can do to a child, even 8 years down the road.
A mother who stays up at night crying because she try as she may, she just can't *fix* her child.
A kid who works and works and works and rarely sees the effort pay off.
A mom who can help other people's kids with Autism achieve and perform more than anyone thought possible - but can't help her own kid read without tears and hearing him ask, "Why can't I do it Mama?"
A house where common words whispered late at night aren't "precious" or "amazing" or "brilliant" but are "dyslexia" or "neurological" or "WHY?????"
A kid who wants more than anything to be invited to somebody's...ANYBODY'S house. But the phone call never comes.
A boy who DREAMS of being a soldier or flying airplanes, but because his brain is wired differently he will never be given the chance to do either.
Kids who hear "You can do anything you set your mind to" but who LIVE with the daily reality of "No...I can't."
Lack of control.
Shift of focus.
Parents who question.
And wait and wait for answers.
And love them unconditionally, nonetheless.
And are still WAITING. Hoping. Praying. Begging. Pleading. WORRYING. Waiting.
If somewhere out there
There is somebody like them.
I haven't seen the t-shirts
Or the bumper stickers
Or the blogs
That remind me of my life.
So in case you run across one.
Just let me know.
Because sometimes...it would give comfort.
Just to know...
In one of those houses.
Is a family like mine.