Monday, August 4, 2008

7 things my boys do that make them the coolest boys EVER


You will be hearing so much about my boys, Keith, Zack, and Griffin. (9, almost 8, & 4) Today, as I was sitting in a wonderful workshop about Asperger's Syndrome, my mind drifted to them. And why I am so lucky to be their Mama. I was trying my best to pay attention and take notes. (in all seriousness it was an amazing workshop) So in between my notetaking and occasional head-nodding (to prove that I was listening intently), I comprised a brief list of today's top 7 things my boys do that make them the coolest boys ever. Here it is..

#7. Blessing fights. It never fails, our meals can't get blessed without a brief fight. They will fight over who's turn it is. If it is Keith's turn, Zack will argue that he didn't say it loud enough. If it is Zack's turn, Keith will try to race along and say it with him, but faster. Then they both will get louder because EVERYBODY knows that Jesus only hears the prayers that are offered up at the loudest level possible. Then there is Griffin. He doesn't believe in the "God is Great" method. Oh no. He must SING his blessing. With feeling. And volume. And sometimes, if we're lucky...with facial expressions. At his little preschool, they sang this blessing..."OHHHHHHH the Lord's been good to me, and so I thank the Lord, for giving me the things I need, the sun and the rain and the apple trees oh the Lord's been good to me." But Griffin places emphasis on certain words, raises and lowers his voice at certain places, and REFUSES to say "Amen." I always say "Amen" at the end of his musical interlude, and he always says, "No, Mom-tee...we don't say that." By this time Shawn has had to separate the 2 other boys who are still "God is great-ing" at the top of their lungs at record speed. It's a vicious cycle, blessing our meals.

#6. Calling me "Mom-tee." This is only Griffin's little deal. For as long as I can remember, he has called me "Mom-tee." Why? I don't know. But I like it. My mom (Gigi) has tried to correct him. She will say, "Mommy. Her name is Mommy." He just goes, "Nope, she's Mom-tee." I kinda like it. Lord knows I've been called worse.

#5. the "Grass-hole" incident. This priceless little diddy is made possible by Zack. Once upon a time, we were all sitting around the dinner table (I kid you not). There had just been yet another argument regarding the blessing, or something like that. Seriously, I don't remember what the argument was about. It wasn't the blessing, I don't want people to assume that our prayer fights lead to cussing. Anyhoo, Shawn was his usual referee self and we thought that everything was over. We were eating, it was quiet, and all of a sudden, Zack leaned over to Keith. In his best possible pseudo-whisper, he goes, "You a grass-hole, Keef." Use your imagination as to what he was trying to say. At this time, Zack was 4. And I was choking back my chicken casserole trying not to laugh. We told him that what he said was very ugly and asked where he heard that (all the while praying that he wouldn't say, "From you."). Thankfully, he said that he heard it from Gigi. JUST KIDDING. He didn't say that. He said that he heard it at school. For all you public school haters, he was attending a Baptist Church Preschool at the time. See...it happens everywhere. You Grassholes.

#4, "MUSTANG!" I don't know who created this game, but whoever did - I secretly hate you. It started with Keith and Zack...every time they would see a mustang while we were in our car (van) they would scream at the top of their lung, "MUSTANG!" Do you know how many mustangs are on the road? LOTS. I finally wised up and trained them to whisper it. They quickly came up with another twist to this addictive little game to drive their Mama insane. They might "whisper" call it, but then the shouting ensues. "That's 49 for me." "Oh yeah, I've got 72." Yeah, they keep a mental tally of how many mustangs they've seen. Total lies. Complete fabrications. But a matter of life and death to them. Believe me, I don't care how expensive gas is, I'll drive 84 miles out of the way to avoid a Ford dealership. I just don't think I could stand it.

#3. "Punchbug!" I know what you're thinking, we've all played this game. Yeah, we have. WITH VOLKSWAGONS. Zack is so stinking smart, book wise. Street-wise - not so much. The other day, he saw a PT Cruiser and excitedly yelled, "PUNCHBUG" and hauled off and knocked the crap outta' Keith's arm. Keith looked and looked for the Bug, it wasn't there. Shawn explained to Zack that he was punching on the wrong car. Keith stared at him with a look of disbelief on his face. Until a stinking Mustang drove by.

#2 AWESOME musical skills. Let me assure you of this...my boys are super gifted in the musical realm. HOW? I'll tell you how. How many 4-year-olds do you know that can sing Eagles tunes word for word? MINE CAN! Tom Petty - a breeze. Griffin could sing "I Won't Back Down" before he gave up his blessed paci! I mean, he knows it ALL. We did alter the lyrics a tad. He goes, "You can stand me up at the gates of WELL but I'll stand my ground, and I won't back down." Keith is more like his Daddy...he likes to get his groove on. I remember well the day when I strained to hear what he was singing in the back of the van, and this is what I heard...."They see me woe-llin...they hatin', twy an catch me widin' dirty, twy and catch me widin." I had a little talk with Shawn after that. That sweet, tone-deaf voice also jams on "God of Wonders" and "Lifesong" and both are the most beautiful, heartfelt renditions you will ever hear. He sings them when he doesn't know that anyone is listening, word for word. Nothing is sweeter than standing outside his door and hearing that. And if you stand their long enough, you're sure to hear this follow afterwords, "Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur..." ( he learned that one from Cousin Maddie)

#1 Their version of Rock, Paper, Scissors - They have been playing this classic childhood game FOREVER. Even Griffin. It always amazed me that even as a 3-year-old, he understood it and played it with "his boys." Just Saturday I was watching them play. They were playing it with Shawn, and he was cracking up. Here's what they were doing. It was the usual, 1, 2, 3, shoot and then you had to give your sign, rock, paper, or scissors. Well, it seemed that they had made up some new signals. Shawn gave rock, and Zack made his hand "roll" as if he were attempting to start an arm-roll (classic breakdance move for all of you who are wondering). Shawn said, "Hey buddy, what is that?" Without missing a beat, Zack said, "It's a tidal wave, Daddy. It washes away your rock." Well, they go again. 1, 2, 3, shoot. Shawn gave scissors, Zack gave a fist with the thumb sticking up. Shawn said, "Okay, what's THAT?" Zack said, "It's a bomb, Daddy. It blows up your scissors." One last time...and the world championship was on the line. 1, 2, 3, shoot! This time, Shawn thought that he had him. He turned Zack's move on him, Shawn did "the tidal wave." (breakdancing hand move from earlier) Without missing a beat, Zack did the move of the pointer finger and "tall man" finger walking on his other hand. He goes, "I win Daddy...I beat you." Shawn said, "Wait a minute, I had tidal wave...I won." Zack goes, "Nope, I had Jesus. He can walk on the water. I win."

Don't you just love it!!! More to come. I've got LOTS more material.

4 comments:

Sue said...

I'm smiling because you just wrote the things we LIVE daily....ALL MY GRANDCHILDREN ARE WONDERFUL!! This proves it...you have to write a book. You could do it with your stories of the boys. Get started!
Mom

DaNella Auten said...

Hey you, I was just talking to your mom, and she told me about your blog. It is good to see your boys. I remember that night at wm's when God told me to assure you that the two oldest would be yours, during a custody battle. I was sooooo nervous. But go figure, God didn't let me down... lol

He never does!

Kele said...

WELCOME AMY!!! I am so pleased you joined us here in the world of blogs!
Your boys are ABSOLUTELY the cutest!!!! I can see why your mind wanders to them when you are in seminars! LOL!
Once I get my blog roll comprised I do hope you will allow me to put your blog on it! (BTW, I LOVE the name!) I will keep stoppin by to see what is new in your world! ;-)

Ashley said...

I don't know if the tears rolling down my face are more from laughing or crying. Both!! They are amazingly precious and have so much of their mama and daddy in them already. The love for music...ddduuhhh!! Love it love it love it!!