Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Seeing the angels...


I love my job. I love the kids that I work with, and almost all of the adults. :) Being a Special Education teacher, I know that what I am doing is making a difference. ALL teachers make a difference. It is such an important job. Today was another "meeting day" to get us ready. What we NEED to go to get ready is to actually work in our classrooms. But the decision makers feel that we need to sit in the library for 6.5 hours listening to people talk. ANYHOO....everyone in that library was feeling exactly as I was. Anxious. Distracted. Even angry. There is SO MUCH to do...the kids will be there Thursday. We've already been staying until 7 each night, working on the weekends. We didn't need another day of meetings.

One thing that we had to do was to watch a quick video about perspective. It was one of those warm fuzzy things that is intended to have us look at our jobs differently, to make us give 110% of our selves instead of the usual 100%. I'll admit, it was good. One quote really stuck out. I wrote it down and thought, "I am TOTALLY adding that to my blog. This was it...

"I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." ~Michelangelo

The guy in the video talked about how people looked at Michelangelo's sculptures and were amazed, even moved to tears. He was asked how he could make something so breathtakingly beautiful from stone. His reply was simple, but spoke volumes. He didn't see the stone. He saw the angel, and worked to set it free.

That is what we do; what I do every day. I carve away, trying to uncover the angels. So many people walk by and see the stone. They don't even take the time to look for the angels. Their mind is already made up. Stone. Only stone. Not even a quick glance. THEY MISS THE ANGELS.

Once again, someone has made an ignorant statement regarding my job and my students. To say that I am tired of hearing it is an understatement. I am physically weary. I work hard. I have an education that I AM STILL PAYING FOR. I go to countless workshops, trainings, etc. I am constantly developing my craft. And 1 flippant comment manages to completely bring me down. Crashing down. Left in a heap. My mom tells me that people used to say the same things to her when she was a teacher. It isn't the first time. It will happen again. I will get over this, move on, and someone, somewhere down the road will do the same thing again. Nothing changes. More of the same.

I am in such a surreal place. Mom. Sp Ed teacher. Mom of Sp Ed student. So many hats to wear. Which one comes first? They are all so heavy. It's getting harder to hold my head up. God knew all along where I would be. He thinks I am capable of wearing them all. Sometimes I wonder. Sometimes I just want to consolidate. Why are some people just wearing 1 *normal* hat? Why do I have to wear 3?

But then, I start to think. I might be wearing 3 hats, 3 HEAVY, uncomfortable hats. But at least I can see the angels. Some of those with only 1 hat don't see the angels. They only see the stone. They are missing out on the angels.

So...I guess I'll survive. I still have my hats. All 3 of them. My heart may be hurt. My anger will subside, but my heart will always hurt. Lucky for me, I get to carve out the angels.

Today, don't just be content to see the stones. Look closely. You just might find an angel.

6 comments:

Tricia said...

I have worked with you for your entire teaching and parenting career. I helped with your wedding. I believe in YOU! I know what God sees and I know that you do make a difference in the lives you touch everyday. Some insensitive person can truly break our spirits but remember l Thes. 5:16-18. "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus," Tricia

Sue said...

Yes, I did say that there will always be someone that will say something to hurt you or make you feel that you aren't doing all you can. You are wearing 3 "hats"...very important ones. At times it looks like others may have no "hats" or one beautiful, stylish hat.....but remember we only see what they allow us to. Their hats that they hide may be much worse than the ones we allow others to see. Your Nanny was the greatest in my eyes, and she had a few tidbits that I have tried to remember (not always at the proper times) but one was "As long as you KNOW you are doing the right thing, don't worry about what others are saying." You, and I, both know that you do all you can and do a fantastic job. Yes, it hurts (and always will) when someone makes a statement about something they don't fully understand, but remember what the good book says....
"Do not become weary in doing good for AT THE PROPER TIME we will reap a harvest IF WE DO NOT GIVE UP." Gal. 6:9

DaNella Auten said...

Wow, I love that quote, that is fablous. We need to watch for the angels more often.

DaNella

Chris Garrett said...

you REALLY should write a book! Go ahead and get you another "author hat!" That last post was awesome!
i love you
CG

Stephanie said...

Aim, you are and always have been one of the most amazing (and hilarious) people that I know. Only God truly knows the number of times I've thought this about you and it makes me happy to see you are exactly where He wants you to be! I already get a lot of those remarks re: nursing. "Why would you want to do this or that for someone all day/night?" It's in my heart to do this and that for them especially when they need someone to do it for them. Challenging, yes, rewarding, absolutely! You truly are one of those people that change lives. I hope you have a GREAT year!

Kele said...

Amy, I don't know you well but the little that I do makes me certain that I would be tickled if my daughter Pres, my 'angel beneath the stone' had just one teacher like you in her future.
Furthermore, be proud of your hats honey!! You are blessed!
And if I can pass on a bit of wisdom I have learned through the years, never, NEVER, be envious of another's life. I can assure you, everyone has their own journey and the only part of that journey you will know of, is the part they want you to know of.
Keep writing...I love stopping by!